Standing on the roof tops, singing about woman power, shouting to my soul sistas and celebrating my own individuality; I am single and I don’t care.
Over the past few years, I have watched my closest friends fall in and out of relationships, for good and for bad. I’ve had the friends that change themselves as soon as they find a man, meaning that whenever we get our long over-due coffee mornings, I barely recognise them in their new romantic fantasy world. I’ve had the friends who simply give up on the coffee mornings all together, with my own company barely making it worth them leaving their beloved for the sake of a few hours. I’ve also had friends, beautiful wonderful friends, who seem to find themselves attached to the first guy that comes along, the first to show them attention, regardless of his compatibility or worth to a relationship. Granted, I’ve fallen for the same trick myself, but it’s in these recent years spent riding solo that have brought me to the point I am now; happy, confident, and more in love than ever before.
Don’t get me wrong – I love being sociable. I have a wonderful set of friends that I organise many nights of cocktail drinking and pizza eating with. Spending an evening bitching and giggling about this, that and everything is what keeps me going through the week. Hearing the gossip from my girls makes me excited about the world, the dramas of their own life often outweighing my simple existence. We drool over the latest movie stars, brag about our latest sale steals, and beg advice from the world and his wife. Me and my girls make a night worth its weight in wine. I also have the luxury of seeing my number of male friends, without the worry of upsetting anyone. Seeing a film about racing cars and superheroes is solely reserved for the gentlemen in my life, where innuendo, banter and smut are never out of place and completely guilt free.
“I love being single – it’s almost like being rich.” – Sue Grafton
In comparison, during my ever glamorous role as a photography assistant, I tend to spend most of my day sat around by myself. While my boss is off socialising with the customers, out doing important business deeds, or at home making merry with the family, I’m sat at a computer answering the phone and filing till receipts. When he is around, my time is spend fulfilling his jobs, listening to his stories and humouring his interesting choice of soundtracks. It’s in situations like this that make me realise how valuable time to ourself is, time to do whatever we want, to watch the shows of our choice and listen to our guilty pleasure albums. I’m more than happy to come home and spend the rest of the evening in my room, pondering my own thoughts and working on my internal masterplans.
I love going shopping by myself, avoiding the demands of my fellow females to revisit the first shop we went into 3 hours ago, taking as long as I want to ponder between two identical pairs of jeans. I love going for drives with my music turned up loud, my sunglasses on, with no one sat next to me to judge my gear changes that are ever compromised by my need to sing the high notes. I’ve even taken to the art of going to the cinema by myself, which was the most delightful afternoon I’ve had in a while. It was a rubbish film, that no one else wanted to see, but I loved it. I could cry as much as I wanted and no one cared. I could laugh at all the rubbish jokes and not get odd looks. I didn’t have to put up with those next to me checking their phone every 5 minutes, or rustling through their sweets, or kicking me as they changed position.
Sure, it’s incredibly selfish, and true, perhaps my ability to share will be compromised, but I like things my own way. I like doing what I want and not having to worry about anyone else. All this me-time has made me the best person I can be; I have a life plan, created with my own best interests at heart and without the need for compromise for anyone else. I have goals that I want to achieve and a bucket list that I want to experience. As such, I can move forward from here with the best intentions in mind, whether that’s in the business world or my personal life. While some woman fall for the first man that comes along, I have the aim of finding someone to help me achieve my goals, excel in life and enhance the world I have been busy creating for myself. I aim for a job that enhances my career and pushes me forward.
In this day and age, not enough time is spend on ourselves, appreciated our own talents, our own beauty, our own achievements. Being single is a blessing. You are the best person for you. Make sure you love yourself before wasting it on someone else.