We, as women, spend most of our lives trying to impress men. Whether that’s through our outfit selections, our efforts in the gym, our new haircuts and top range of makeup, somewhere and somehow there’s always the underlying efforts to appeal to the opposite gender. I know I’m just as bad at it myself; I’m convinced only the smallest waist and tightest jeans are gonna impress a man, so there I am slaving away busting my man-attracting balls. And yet, the reality of it is, what men really really want, is none of that.
“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” – Leonardo da Vinci
Sure, every man is different and all desire different things, but almost every guy I’ve dated has complimented me by saying I have “beautiful wide, child bearing hips.” Hardly a compliment in a woman’s eyes, and yet a primeval and raw appreciation of natural womanly shapes. The same goes for my big bum – in guy world, this is a good thing, as men simply do not appreciating the pain of skinny jeans and figure-hugging dresses.
“There are only two forces that unite men – fear and interest.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
I have naturally very big wavy hair too, which I spend hours a day trying to straighten to be as flat as possible. All fairly standard in girl world – GHD’s are a daily necessity, as are copious amounts of sprays and creams to keep it frizz free. I envy girls with beautifully straight hair, swept back into a sleek and sophisticated ponytail, while mine remains unkempt at the best of times. Yet I’ve had many a conversation with many a man who tell me big naturally wavy hair is far more their cup of tea. Perhaps due to the remote psyche that knows wild crazy hair is a sign of health and natural fidelity. Or perhaps because it looks post-sexed. Either way, all my efforts are appearing a waste.
“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” ― Oscar Wilde
I believe the same also goes for fashion – given any chance for a man to take you shopping and buy what he thinks you’d look good in, it rarely matches what you would purchase for yourself. Whether this is due to your own personal comfort zone that he’s not aware of, or simply that he’s inadvertently helping expand your fashion horizons, most of what I’ve picked out to buy is totally different to what Mr Becky would pick out for me. All the dramas that go into choosing the perfect sophisticated dining dress, when as long as there’s some killer heels and a big smile to go with, the outfit doesn’t matter all that much.
“I have heard of some women who either won’t let men stay over until a certain amount of time has passed in the dating process, or that will go to bed with makeup on – because they don’t want him to see how they look when they wake up in the morning. The truth is, we don’t really care. I don’t mean this in an apathetic way, I mean it in a “If we are waking up next to you, we think you are beautiful no matter what” way.” – James Michael Sama
And it’s not just appearances – here we are being taught by all the glossy mags in all the high-street newsagents that we need to be overt and confident in the bedroom. We need to take control and show a man what it takes. We need to act like sex is our favourite thing in the whole wide world – which sometimes it is, don’t get me wrong. But from my experience, the majority of men are quite happy to take you as you come (excuse the pun.) Sure, it’s great when you’re enjoying it, it’s great to show you’re having a jolly good time, but while they’re in The Zone, men don’t care what you do. If you’re having fun and they’re having fun, that’s all that matters. Of course, the Christian Grey’s of this world don’t quite fit into that equation, but as a general rule, the Boy Next Door doesn’t necessarily require your latex bondage suit to have a good time.
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” ― Robin Williams
In the blogging world, men who open up about their inner thoughts are looked at as Gods, and having read my fair share of manly articles, more often than not, they highlight things men don’t care about, such as texting etiquette, dinner preferences or early morning bed hair. Basically, us women need to stop. We need to stop second guessing ourselves to impress men. We need to stop altering ourselves in an attempt to be the perfect woman. Because ultimately, the right men (the DECENT men) won’t care. We just need to continue to be ourselves in our rawest format, and let the natural manly men of this world find us from there.
“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” – Oscar Wilde