So, we established last week that men don’t want what we think they want. Easy.
But now comes the real question, the unknown enigma that has plagued species for generations, the unanswerable anonymity that haunts the male population and proves endless dramas within the dating world – what do women want?
“Women are made to be loved, not understood.” – Oscar Wilde
As a general rule, women want nice genuine men who promise to look after us – yet more often than not, it’s the bad boys that get all the attention.
Women want to strut around in high heels looking smart but sexy – yet we long for comfy flats and an opportunity to relax with bare feet.
Women want the protection and stability of a sturdy, dependable husband – yet their main priority is remaining an independent soul sista who don’t need no man to protect them.
No wonder the male population have so many problems. Throw in a fresh batch of hormones and That Time Of The Month and it’s a wonder men stick around longer than that first four weeks to deal with our famously changing mindsets. But they do, and we love them for it.
So here I am, stepping forward from the dark to enlighten the world into What Women Want. What the truth of it is. What the real secret is behind the dating world, the fashion world and the culture world.
And the answer is…
We have absolutely no idea.
This predictably starts and ends with men.
“I’m supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I’ve flunked more often than not. I’m very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don’t understand them.” – Frank Sinatra
Over the years, I’ve gone down the ‘oh my god, musicians are the sexiest ever’ approach, only to then decide that I couldn’t be dealing with a guitar-playing emo kid stealing my musical limelight. I’ve dated a soldier, accepting the challenges of being a military girlfriend and enjoying the Dear John romance of sending letters to Afghanistan, only for the reality of the lonely situation to stump the rest of that idea. I even went down the mature London socialite route, to then decide that commuting an hour and a half for an overpriced and overcrowded date night was far too much effort.
Now I’m living the dream by dating someone from my home town – something I swore I’d never do – who does internet stuff I don’t understand and hates live gigs. Someone I easily could have swiped past on Tinder (sorry honey), and yet so far, so pretty-damn good.
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
So if I don’t know what I want, how could any potential suitor be prepared for my upcoming womanly demands?
One thing that has struck me from this variety of dating disasters is that any criteria we do have – whether that be taller than 6ft, a non-smoker, or a vegetarian – is normally there for a reason, so it makes good sense to listen to this when assessing potential suitors. Follow the gut instinct.
“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” – Bill Cosby
The same goes for clothes – I’ll always shop within my comfort zone, meaning I have the same array of lacey black ensembles, avoiding light colours like the vampire I once was. Yet every now and again, I’ll branch out, reach for a pale pink outfit and, much to my surprise, fall in love with it. I have no idea what I like, or what suits me, and I’m the one that dresses myself every day.
It’s a gender wide scenario – women struggle with The Grey Area. If you listen to any wine-fuelled, gossip filled womanly chat, very quickly will their desires go from black to white, from left to right, from right to wrong. Men, celebrities, their best friends’ drunken decisions – it sways scarily from various shades of emotions and general feminine conclusions, changing rapidly every 5 minutes with no further explanation. All created with the most love and compassion, of course, and yet a perfect example of simply not being able to make up our mind. How is anyone else supposed to keep up?
“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” – Joseph Conrad
So, in a nutshell, men – you’re not alone. We don’t know, so you don’t have to know either. Just be a nice guy, look after your lady, and sit patiently while she decides between two almost identical and yet, of course entirely different, pairs of shoes.